Eu achei que tinha dormido na Imigrantes e comecei a procurar o Frango Assado pra pedir o café com aquele pão sovado na chapa.
Cara, você não vai acreditar.
O síndico do meu prédio acabou de soltar uma nota no WhatsApp avisando que teremos operação comboio para descer no elevador e vamos colocar Sem-Parar caso apareça algum pedágio.
Meu Deus do céu.
Que tempo é esse?
Não. Nunca fui pra lá.
Mas tenho Netflix, pô.
Eu vi num documentário sobre as tretas da Lady Di e Rainha Elizabeth. Família destrambelhada do cacete. Só tem doidão naquele castelo.
E o frio?
Não pode, pô.
Não somos acostumados a isso.
Nascemos num país tropical.
Eu nem tenho casaco.
O máximo são umas camisas de manga comprida da Colombo. O moço que me vendeu falou que eram camisas sociais.
Quer coisa pior?
Teremos pessoas de guarda-chuva na rua. Pense no apocalipse.
Eu tenho algumas teorias sobre quem usa guarda-chuva. Pessoas que usam isso não tiveram uma infância feliz e a mãe obrigava a tomar Yakult pra fazer cocô molinho.
São pessoas que guardam segredos nebulosos e um dia irão se juntar com os maçons para juntos, tomarem o poder empunhando aquele instrumento.
Eles fazem sinais para se identificarem quando se encontram. Pode perceber.
Os maçons também fazem.
Maçom também é um cara estranho.
A vizinha do 133 saiu agora toda enrolada num casaco branco enorme, de chapéu e cachecol. Parecia um boneco de neve.
Mas sou um gentleman.
Disse que ela estava ótima.
O livro Diário de uma Pandemia só aconteceu por um apoio essencial da Saudade FM, em especial de seu diretor, Marco Aurélio Vieira, dono de humor tão ácido quanto o meu.
Saudade FM. Eu amo essa Rádio. Obrigado, Marcão, pelo apoio e confiança. No fim eu sei que você vai me cobrar isso em almoços e PI´s.
Queria agradecer a meus dois filhos, Werner e Luisa, combustíveis inesgotáveis do meu dia a dia.
E a Isla, minha esposa, inspiração e a pessoa mais feliz que conheci na vida. Em quatro anos de convívio, nunca vi essa mulher acordar um dia sequer de mal humor. Nem mesmo na pandemia, convivendo com alguém tão “enxaqueca” como eu.
Subst. feminino • Epidemia que se dissemina por toda uma região. Doença infecciosa e contagiosa que se espalha muito rapidamente e acaba por atingir uma região, um país, continente etc.
Figurado: Qualquer coisa que, concreta ou abstrata, se espalha rapidamente e tem uma grande extensão de atuação.
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